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ما يقدر يهزموا
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Tuesday, March 17, 2009

In response to some asinine comment...


السيده اسر ياسر
فى جو الشتا اللى بتتكلمى عنه
ردا على فوازيرك
حضرتك اللى جبتى سيرة
حفلة التوقيع
حضرتك بكل صدق ومصداقيه كنتى لابسه
انا فى منتهى الاسف والامتعاض
انى اقول
bra ابيض
اناشخصيا كنت شايفه من تحت اللبس اللى كان شفاف
فى عز الشتا
وكونك زوجه يحمل زوجك ذنب انه يسيبك بالشكل ده
اما عن اولادك فربنا يستر
واضح من البوست اللى اتنشر فى انا انثى
انك بتربيهم على ان الحياء ده مش من مستوانا خاااالص!
اما انك تمشى فى الشارع ملط ف ده انت لوحدك اللى ممكن تجربيه
وساعتها يا ريت تبقى تيجى تحكى على التجربه الاورجينال خالص دى
بس ارجو من سيادتك بلاش كلمه خدشوا حيائك لانها مش لايقه
---------
ده مع احتفاظى برأى ان التحرش جريمه تستحق اكبر عقوبه
ولتكن خدش حيائه وتجريده من ملابسه

The above post was copied from Asser's blog, and here's my comment about it.

For starters, I don't think that a photo was necessary. People should be able to freely wear whatever attire they deem appropriate. I cannot see the outline of a bra in the picture, but if indeed that were the case, my opinion would remain the same. The contempt in the written text is clear as evident by the insulting statements about Asser and her husband, and the writer's disapproval of how they raise their children (not that it's any of his/her business).

With all due respect to the people commenting on Asser's blog and all those who believe that comments such as the above should be ignored, I strongly disagree. I think it is essential to publicize this kind of behaviour as part of uncovering the truth behind the common misconception that sexual crime victims are to blame for the injustices incurred upon them. I think posting this and in fact dedicating a post to it is necessary to educate the public and provide other victims with a sense of hope that there are supporters out there. Not only that, but also it gives those other victims (and future victims) an idea of the kind of retaliation they will face when they speak out in public about the crimes committed against them. The world is full of judgmental people. Victims of all crimes will always be judged; that's a fact. But there are always supporters as well. In a way it prepares victims for what's to come. In that light, I see it as a step forward.

I'm not sure if the writer is male or female. There are just as many women as there are men who believe that punishment for sexual offenses should be doled out primarily based on the victim's profile, and that the behaviour of the offender is secondary. To some of them, sexual crimes are a result of something other than malicious intent. They feel the need to attach an instigator to the crime. I think it is partly fear; fear that humans can actually do that to other humans. Some would rather believe that the victim did something to deserve the crime than to think that these acts are at random and could happen to even them. They cannot identify with the victims of sexual crimes because in order to do so they would have to admit that they are not in control. The reality is that victims of sexual offenses are never in control of when that sort of crime happens. But a victim can be prepared which would allow her a limited measure of control over the situation if the need arises. And sometimes that is all one needs in a situation like that to scare away the offender. Some of the people who think that victims of sexual offenses have somehow brought it on themselves or were partly responsible in any way, erroneously believe that the victim has control, in that if she for example, was wearing a darker shirt to cover the bra that she would have warded off sexual offenders, when in reality neither the shirt nor the colour of the bra has any impact on when, where, or why the crime took place.

I see Asser as an activist. I have never actually met her, nor do I know her on a personal level, but my opinion of what she is doing remains the same whether she wears revealing clothing or not. I personally don't care what people wear. My opinion of others is not based on apparel. However, it seems that the writer of the comment deemed Asser disrespectful as a result of her attire. That's not uncommon in Egypt, and the Middle East as a whole. Areas of that part of the world house some of the most patriarchal societies. The writer most likely embraces a system of beliefs that is heavily sexist in it's interpretation which is probably why he/she laid the blame on Asser's husband for "allowing her to leave the house dressed like that", suggesting once again that someone else has control over when or where sexual harassment can occur.

Regardless, the writer assumed that Asser is an individual undeserving of respect because her attire is not befitting of the image he/she had in their mind of Asser. Therefore, he/she concluded that Asser is also undeserving of the right to speak up about being sexually harassed. This is a very black and white view of things especially in cases of sexual harassment, where people often associate the right to voice your concern with how much you conform to the norm. I think every issue has it's shades of gray. To assume that someone lacks respect because their skirt is too short manifests how limited the thought process is. Who decides what's too short - 4 inches above the knee or 6 inches? It's very narrow minded. It should be our actions that determine how others view us. Sadly, that's often not the case.

I have previously written my thoughts on the psychology of sexual offenders which you can read here. I am not saying it's fact; it's pure conjecture on my part really, from what I observe around me. I don't see any difference between the offender who attacks those who wear short skirts (or white bras) and the one who attacks women indiscriminantly. Any unwanted sexual advances (which include, but are not limited to rape, sexual harassment, etc.) are criminal. And to somehow insinuate that the victim had no right to complain because her bra was visible implies lack of judgment and weakness of intellect not to mention lack of common sense.

Clearly, common sense is not common.

7 comments:

أسوور said...

Some would rather believe that the victim did something to deserve the crime than to think that these acts are at random and could happen to even them

i liked this part so much, it says everything about our society, this is exactly the way they are thinking, they look at me like a freak.

i was wearing a bra, a white bra under a white shirt, in their minds its a crime.

i am not wearing hejab that means i am so far from Islam so, i deserve anything even harassment

what a minds?????????

but you know something, i don't care about what they are thinking.

Wandering Scarab said...

Asser..

This is precisely why I think sexual harassment will continue to rise in Egypt. Unfortunately, that train of thought is very common in patriarchal societies. People don't understand that sexual crimes are about violence not sex. The perpetrator is not waiting to see a bra or other underwear to commit the crime. And to add to that, many people in that part of the world believe that basic human rights only apply to people who adhere to religious teachings (i.e. hijab).

It's good that you don't care what they think. Thick skin is required when you're about to go against the odds. I support your right to walk the streets safely, and I support your right to voice your opinion. I wish you the best of luck.

Anonymous said...

Asser

I think that you have reached this point of view ,that I have tried to clear about islam .

In fact a lot of harassment happen daily as a punshment to women don,twear the islamic uniform (((nekab)))

you try to defence islame as a muslim

Inside yourself you know that all my words is right

E_Mersal said...

hi all
i dont think it was about hijab or what the female is wearing , i think its all about the desire inside the perpetrator's soul .
also women who putting on hijab or nikab got harressmanted too .

david santos said...

Brilliant posting. Nice photos. Nice faces and very good space!!!
Happy Day!!!

^ H@fSS@^ said...

to all who say that it was not about hijab, well, bad news, it is about hijab, this is how others view it, so this is how we face it.

e-mersal, if you go back to all assour's posts about the incident and then my posts as well, u will find some people who refer the matter back to assour not wearing hijab, hence what happened to her was justified in thier own point of view.
and so many times we said that hijab/ neqab, dont prevent harrasments, coz as u may know, even scarved ladies and niqab wearing ladies do get thier plentiful share of harrasments.

but as the egyptian proverb says, " e7na benedan fi malta".

Wandering Scarab said...

I don't believe that sexual crimes are a result of lack of hijab/niqab in any way. I don't believe the offender differentiates between women in that way. However, hijab (or lack thereof) is a common justification for why the crime happens. As I mentioned in my post, people would rather believe that the crime is not random and that the victim could have prevented it. Patriarchal societies often use hijab as a crutch to justify sexual harassment, and the offenders also justify their acts using the same excuse, but only after the fact.

Sex crimes are about violence, not sex or clothing. For instance, look at the rate of rape crimes in South Africa. Gang rape is especially common there, yet hijab is not a factor in the equation. I just hope that the situation in Egypt doesn't take a turn for the worst. Because if it does, that is where we will end up. Individual or isolated sex crimes will turn into gang sex crimes, as long as the crime is being justified.